Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Worshipping Shadowism!!!!!!!!!!

Worshipping Shadowism!!!!!!!!!!

Have u people ever thought about the shadows? Damn!!!! These craps will never let me do anything. Even they do not have their own bodies. They can rule me through their instabilities. Still they made me to say that “I admire them, I respect them, and at last I’ve started worshipping them ”. They can bring out my whole emotions in life.

Ofcourse I admire God…and I accept him as the almighty. I never felt that I am praying or pleading him anything. I felt he is someone with whom I can have an open conversation. He is someone who doesn’t need any explanations from my side. He knows me more than I know myself.

But in case of shadows…they r some creatures who know me very well. Still they can haunt me. They can ask me silent questions…they need explanations for everything… Again. Here lies the crap again… I love them… Huh!!!! I think. how can I? I love them because they are someone at least have cares for me. I start love them when I start love myself and I start to hate them when I’ve hatred towards me. Really it’s not a big deal…

They will ask me questions in each of my actions. But those questions will never be personal. They do not have any intention to hurt me as the original fleshy bodies have. As far as my concern, they want me to think on every action.

I started care shadows from those days when I got the theory of “I don’t want to be a blind follower… I don’t want any follower… I need only a co-traveler ”. I know only these silent creatures can accept this agenda which is really a trap. Since they r suffering me a lot…. I gave them the full freedom to rule me …to haunt me…to irritate me with bloody questions…. to make me titter sometimes…to make me cry as anyone can…(I hate this part of mine… as hell).

Shadows r not my followers…. and I am not following them too. I think I am blindly believing Shadowism!!!!!.

Mission : Finding Myself.!!!!!!!

Mission : Finding Myself.

My ways in life…may be they r so immature…still I love them… They were full of warmth. Each time they were vague. They confused me at each point. Let me tell u. They were unknown for me. Those paths were completely filled with darkness. I was moving like a blind. But somehow. Everytime.In every turning… one hand was ready to hold me. Ready to move me in right way. But those hands never told me where I would meet the next turn. Even now. I really want to return to the stages in my life where I found strange faces those which later l made familiar. Y I really thinks that it was better them to be strange…? I don’t know.

I am sure that if I wish to return to my old days…. I shall lost my way in the middle… they were so strange for me. It was completely an aimless voyage. And I am that much sure in another thing that my future ways will not be different with them. Even if I’ve some aim for my physical existence… For my spiritual life…for my philosophies…. for my mental stabilities…. I m not sure that i can find a solution..!